Going Down to the Cellar

by Dan Nielsen


            A mouse hid behind the toilet. Daryl was re-grouting the tub.   

            “I can see you,” Daryl whispered.

            The mouse squeaked mockingly.

            “How are you?” Patricia didn’t care.

            “I’m okay.” Daryl lied.

            “Just okay?” Patricia was annoying.

            “I’m well.” Daryl lied.

            “Well is better than okay.” Patricia split hairs.

            “No, it isn’t.” Daryl’s hair fell out.

            A cat stood on its hind legs and scratched the couch arm.

            Billy and Go-Go came over. They’d been to the moon.

            “How was it?” Daryl didn’t care.

            “It was great!” Go-Go frowned.

            “The restaurants are expensive.” Billy wished they’d gone all-inclusive.

            “You pay for the atmosphere.” Patricia was annoying.

            “Let’s sit on the patio.” Daryl did something with his arms.

            “Does anyone like pancakes?” Patricia was annoying.

            “I like them when it’s for a good cause.” A baby who lived in a pouch around Go-Go’s neck gurgled.

            Sirens blared. It was a test. Or a storm.

            It was a bad storm.

            “Let’s go down to the cellar.” Daryl did something with his arms.

            “When I was little I was afraid to go down to the cellar,” Go-Go announced, “because of what always happened.”  

            A mouse and a cat hid behind the furnace. Animals sense things. People need sirens.


Dan Nielsen.jpeg

Dan Nielsen is a septuagenarian standup comic. Recent FLASH in: Connotation Press, Jellyfish Review, (mic)ro(mac), Necessary Fiction, The Cabinet of Heed, and Cheap Pop. Dan has a website: Preponderous, you can follow him @DanNielsenFIVES. He andGeorgia Bellas are the post-minimalist art/folk band Sugar Whiskey.